


i lost myself between your legs (oh the habits of my heart, i can't say no)

by RoseofWinterfell



Series: Jiara July 2020 [5]
Category: Outer Banks (TV)
Genre: A good time is had by all, F/M, I know - kinky stuff, In more ways than one, JJ Maybank Has a Big Dick, JJ with a big dick, Smut, but please read it and give me validation anyway, but the one they just might need, cause even though we’re trying to write smut with more realistic elements, far to much dialogue for a smut fic, hopefully still good, insercue kie, it’s okay to indulge in the fantasy a bit, just bro’s being bro’s, more fun smut than sexy smut, on-top-of-the-covers sex, once again I’m writing jj and kie having sex for totally valid reasons, or wanted, supportive JJ, the 10k word jiara smut fic that literally no one asked for, the have absolutely nothing to do with them liking each other, tiara july, virgin!kie, yeah okay no one need this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:26:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25629688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseofWinterfell/pseuds/RoseofWinterfell
Summary: ‘Hey, JJ?’‘Yeah?’ JJ responds, turning to her and taking a sip of his drink waiting for her to continue.‘Do you wanna have sex with me?’JJ jerks forward and makes a small choking sound into his cup and she see’s a few small drops of liquid spray out the side of it.He pulls the cup away from his mouth and uses the heel of his hand to wipe at his mouth, staring at her like she has two heads the entire time.‘What?’‘Do you-‘‘No. God. Don’t say it again,’ JJ cuts her off.Kie bites her lip and watches him slightly freak out at her words.He doesn’t respond just looks at her mouth opening a shutting trying to find the right thing to say.‘Well..?’ Kie prompts.‘Is that an offer or are you just taking a census?’_________Or. Kie ask JJ to be her first. Because she trusts him. No other reason.JJ agrees. Because he's a good friend. No other reason.[Jiara Week 2020 - Day 6, Firsts]
Relationships: JJ Maybank/Kiara Carrera, JJ/Kiara (Outer Banks)
Series: Jiara July 2020 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1845823
Comments: 39
Kudos: 197
Collections: Jiara July Jubilee





	i lost myself between your legs (oh the habits of my heart, i can't say no)

**Author's Note:**

> okay, this has been a wip for almost 3 months, and well the gc said they wanted smut so I finally finished this.  
> I have not clue if this is like super cringey, or just bad, or maybe it's actually good. If not, let's just pretend this never happened. Okay?  
> It's supposed to me more like fun and chill than like super hot or anything so idk..  
> Title from Habits of My Heart by Jaymes Young.  
> so... I guess here goes. Enjoy.

Kie watches JJ as he looks out onto the crowd of people gathered at the Boneyard. She’d found him sitting on his own off to the side lurking in the shadows, which was strange for JJ. Typically he was the life or the party, the centre of attention. When she asked, he just said he _wasn’t feeling it_.

She sat down in a discarded chair next to the driftwood log he was perched on, if she was being honest she wasn’t feeling it either, and just sitting there with JJ seemed as good as an option as anything. She threw her legs up on his lap when she sat, his hand instinctively comes to rest on them when she does, all the boys used to her using them as leg rests by now, and his fingers start absentmindedly tracing small patterns on her skin.

They sit in silence. JJ watches the party unfold. Kie watches JJ. The soft light of the moon highlights his face, the sharp lines of his jaw, the small trace of stubble, one of the many things that remind her of his transition from a boy to a man. She’d noticed him grow over the years, noticed him start to fill out, his arms turn to muscle, his back toned, she can see the well defined abs from where she sits, the fabric of his cut off sleeved shirt rippling in the breeze and showing off just as much skin as possible without actually being shirtless.

_He looks good._

She’s not an idiot okay. She knows her best friends are hot. But just because she can acknowledge them as objectively attractive don’t mean she into them, it just doesn’t work like that. But yeah, JJ is hot and it makes her think. 

In all honesty she been thinking about it for a while. How could she not. JJ was one of her best friends, she knew him, she trusted him. And well, she knew he was good in bed. She’d heard stories, and she had heard the sounds echoing from Big John’s bedroom. There was a time at the Kook academy (during the year she wasn’t exactly the best friends to the boys) where one of Sarah’s friends told a story about getting drunk and hooking up with a pouge, the girl didn’t remember his name but to this day she’s sure it was JJ. She’s never asked him about it though. But it sparks her curiosity. 

Kie mulls over her thoughts for a moment longer before deciding to just jump in. 

‘Hey, JJ?’

‘Yeah?’ JJ responds, turning to her and taking a sip of his drink waiting for her to continue. 

‘Do you wanna have sex with me?’

JJ jerks forward and makes a small choking sound into his cup and she see’s a few small drops of liquid spray out the side of it. 

He pulls the cup away from his mouth and uses the heel of his hand to wipe at his mouth, staring at her like she has two heads the entire time. 

‘What?’

‘Do you-‘

‘No. God. Don’t say it again,’ JJ cuts her off. 

Kie bites her lip and watches him slightly freak out at her words. 

He doesn’t respond just looks at her mouth opening a shutting trying to find the right thing to say. 

‘Well..?’ Kie prompts. 

‘Is that an offer or are you just taking a census?’

She doesn’t say anything only looks down at her lap and starts licking at her nails. That seems to give him his answer. 

‘What the fuck Kie? Why would you want to-‘

She takes a deep breath and stands up moving over to him and sitting next to him on the log. He pulls away slightly when she sits down and she takes that as a bad sign. She honestly thought he would be into this, he’s always hitting on her, and while she knows he doesn’t mean anything by it, he’s not actually into her, she kinda thought he was at least attracted to her, would be willing to sleep with her at the very least.

‘I just-‘ she pauses trying to find the right words to explain it, ‘look JJ. I’m still a virgin, okay?’

JJ’s eyebrows shoot up, ‘no Kie. I’ve seen you go off with plenty of guys. You- you can’t look like you and not get laid.’

Kie sighs, ‘it’s not that I haven’t had the opportunity or anything. And yeah, I’ve done plenty of other stuff.. but like actual sex. I just- I feel weird about it, okay?’

Her hand comes up and tucks her hair behind her ear and she chooses to look down rather than at JJ, ‘I don’t want to do it for the first time with some stranger. That doesn’t care about me or I’ll never see again. And I know it’s just a construct and it doesn’t really matter but -‘

She pauses and looks up at JJ who’s watching her. His eyebrows are still knitted together, trying to process what’s happening but he doesn’t seem completely opposed to the idea like she thought at first.

‘And having a boyfriend isn’t exactly on the horizon, but I want to do it. It’s just I want the first time at least be with someone, who… who won’t make me feel embarrassed for being a clueless virgin, I guess.’

He’s still silent so she keeps going.

‘I don’t know, JJ. It’s just. You’re one of my best friends, and I trust you and I’m comfortable with you and I thought maybe you’d want to...’ she trails off not really knowing how to finish. 

‘Do you?’ JJ finishes for her, a smirk on his lips. 

Kie laughs, ‘I wouldn’t have put it like that. But yeah, basically.’

Contemplating her proposal JJ nods slowly and takes a sip of his drink. 

‘So just like, one time? To get a run on the board?’

Kie looks down at her hand and nods, ‘yeah.’

There’s a silence. 

‘Okay.’ 

Her head shoots up to look at him. 

‘Really?’

It might sound weird but it surprises her that he agrees. JJ’s never been backwards about hitting on her, but part of her always thought that was because she was a girl and he couldn’t help himself. That maybe when push cane to shove he wouldn’t actually be game. 

‘Yeah,’ he wraps an arm around her shoulder and pulls are to his side, ‘I mean, I’m your friend right? It’s the least I could do.’

_There is a lot less he could do._

‘And I mean,’ he touches his hand to his chest, ‘personally I won’t get a lot from the experience but it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.’

There’s a shit eating grin on his face and she knows he’s teasing her. 

‘And if having sex with a hot girl is what I have to do to be a good friend then I will do that for you Kie. But you owe me.

His finger points at her and he flexes an eyebrow. She half shoves him with her shoulder pushing him away for his teasing. He lets go of her and brings his hands to clasp in front of him, playing with his rings. 

They fall into a silence and Kie doesn’t really know what to say now, thankfully JJ seems to. 

‘So, do you want to do it now or...?’ He almost sounds nervous. 

‘Not here!’ 

‘No! No,’ JJ quickly reassured her, ‘I meant- we can go back The Chateau if you want... John B and Pope will probably still be here for hours so, or...’

He pauses and scratches the back of his neck. 

‘If you want to wait. Like, if you wanna sober up and think about it.. that’s cool.’

‘No.’ Kie reaches out a grips his arm, ‘no, I’ve only had like one drink. And I’ve actually... I've been thinking about this for a while.’

JJ smiles at her with a glint in his eye, ‘really?’

She shoves him again, but then they’re standing and she’s heading back up the beach, JJ hot on her heels.

* * *

When they get back to The Chateau they head straight to Big John’s old room, that JJ seems to have claimed as his own. They stand there silently for a moment before JJ declares he’ll be right back, seeming to remember something, and shoots out of the room.

Trying to keep herself busy and stop herself from over thinking Kie sits down on the side of the bed and starts taking off her shoes. With more care than’s probably required she takes them off and neatly places them beside her and then stuffs her socks in them.

Her hands some together in her lap when she’s done, and she waits. She can hear JJ somewhere in the house banging around cupboards and opening and shutting drawers. Just for something to do Kie considers taking off her shirt, thinking it might make things easier to get stared but chickens out at the thought of JJ walking in to see her just sitting there, tit’s out.

The door opens again, JJ enters and then closes the door behind him, locking it. She’s grateful for that, in the off chance that John B or Pope came back early she really didn’t need them walking in on this.

JJ offers a smile as he holds up his hand, resting between his middle and pointer fingers is a condom.

‘Good thinking,’ Kie says and he places it down on the bedside table next to her.

He steps back again, shoving his hands in his pockets and leaning against the wall across from her. 

‘So,’ he clears his throat, ‘how’d you wanna do this?’

He seems nervous, the whole point in doing this with JJ is that he wouldn’t be awkward about it. He has a lot of casual sex and when he flirts with her it’s with an endless amount of confidence, she kinda figured he’d know exactly how to do this.

‘I can, um… eat you out first if you want,’ he scratches behind his ear as he says it, not quite looking her in the eye.

‘No,’ she responds, probably too quickly because he almost looks offended.

‘No, it’s just,’ she tries her best to back pedal a little, ‘I’ve already done that you know, this is just about… sex.’

JJ nods looking back up at her, ‘right. Just stock standard, penis-vagina sex.’

His hands come in front of him to make a gesture with his words and Kie’s face scrunches up.

‘God. Don’t say it like that.’

‘Right,’ he pushes off the wall and comes down to sit next to her on the bed, ‘I just want some ground rules here. I don’t wanna overstep and make you uncomfortable.’

It’s a very un-JJ like thing to say, making the conscious decision to practice self restraint. And she touched that he cares, and really, it makes her want to do this with him all the more.

‘I think the best way to do this is just to do it.’

She hopes she takes the hint, the _just kiss me dumbass_ that’s hidden in her words.

He doesn’t, ‘Okay, but tell me if I do something th-‘

‘JJ, can you just shut up now?’

‘Yeah, I just want to make sure-‘

She cuts him off by bringing her hand to the back of his neck and pushing her lips onto his. It’s not the cleanest kiss, he’s still mid sentence and she probably comes in with a bit more force than she needs too. Their teeth clack a bit but JJ doesn’t let it bother him, instantly reciprocating the kiss.

One of his hands comes to the side of her face, gently tangling his fingers in her hair, the other to her thigh. His touch feels nice against her skin, almost as nice as his lips do.

There’s something about kissing JJ, she wasn’t sure what she thought it would be like but this is… Well, she get’s wrapped up in it easy. His lips move against her’s in perfect sync and manages to her bottom lip between his teeth long enough to bite down on it. The sharp pain entries a small gasp from her and he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into her mouth. 

There’s a practiced tactic behind his tongue’s movements and it makes her regret not taking up his offer on going down on her. Really, if this is a one time thing she should have gotten as much out of this as possible.

She has to mentally reprimand herself for that thought, because this isn’t about that. This is about experience, not about JJ. It’s just as if she was doing this John B or Pope. 

The thought of the other boys reminds her of something, something they actually should have talked about.

‘JJ,’ she pulls away just enough to get the word out, and the second it is JJ sealing their lips again, humming a _hmmm?_ Against her lips in the attempt to seem interested in what she wanted to say but proving he didn’t really care right now.

She pulls away again, ‘John B and Pope can’t know about this, okay?’

If either of the boys found out about this she knows it wouldn’t be good, they are all so close and something like this could really mess up the entire dynamic, them doing this in the first place is already asking for trouble. Not to mention they’re breaking the golden rule.

_No pouge on pouge macking._

JJ pulls back slightly gives her a sly smile and then starts tracing his lips along her jaw and then down her neck. He seemed to let go of any nerves when she kissed him, and was back to the JJ she knew all too well. Maybe her kissing him let him know that this was actually happening, that she wasn’t going to pull away and laugh at him for even thinking he could touch her. Or maybe he was just much more in his element during the actual act and not the pre-amble.

‘Look who’s talking too much now,’ he mumbles against her skin.

Her head moves to the side giving him more space of explore her neck, it’s entirely distracting and it takes her a moment to pull her thoughts back and remember she was making a point.

‘I’m serious JJ,’ she realises he’s spending too much time sucking at one point of her skin and she whacks the side of his head pushing him away, ‘and no hickies.’

He laughs as his head swings away a little more dramatically than needed, ‘have a little faith Kie.’

Smirking, he brings his hands to the bottom of her thighs and tries to pull her closer. Kie obliges and shuffles over, swinging one leg over his lap and straddling him. Her arms come around his neck as she sits in his lap, feeling surprisingly comfortable there, like this wasn’t the first time they’ve done something like this.

He uses his pinkie to move some of her hair away from her face, ‘I’m not going to tell anyone, okay?’

To reassure her he places a peck on her lips, it’s a surprisingly soft and intimate gesture and it makes butterflies stir in her stomach at it. She surges forward again to recapture his lips, a proper, messy kiss this time, in an attempt to drown out the feeling. JJ doesn’t question it just meets her with the same enthusiasm.

As they kiss JJ’s hand slowly makes it’s way under her shirt, trailing lightly along her spine. She doesn’t know why she likes it some much, but the feather light touch of his fingertips sets her skin alight in their wake. She lets out a small moan and grinds her hips down onto him, against her she can feel him hardening in his shorts and it brings her some satisfaction knowing he’s enjoying just making out as much as she is. 

His fingers on her hip tighten while the others finds the claps of her bra, Kie’s about to pull away to take over unclasping it and saving them some time when he pushes his fingers together and it comes undone with ease, she pulls aways anyway.

‘You’re way too good at that.’

‘Years of practice,’ he smirks and then brings his fingers up between them and wiggles them, ‘and I’m good with my fingers.

She doesn’t doubt that, the thought makes her bite her lip and blush slightly. Thankfully he doesn’t see her do it, too busy reaching behind his head and pulling his shirt off. He does however see how she does the same thing when she looks down at his bare chest, he flexes his pecks under her gaze and she snaps her head back up to his shit-eating grin.

In a challenge she raises an eyebrow at him and crosses her arms in front of her, gripping the bottom of her shirt and tugging it over her head, taking her undone bra as she goes. His eyes linger for longer than she expected, his lips parted, so she brings a finger under his chin and lifts it to face her.

He chuckles at her victory smile, ‘touché’

_Boy’s are so easy_ , she rolls her eyes and he comes back in to kiss her.

His hand travels up to her breast squeezing it and running his thumb over the hard peak of her nipple. She grinds down on him again and this time she feels him groan again his mouth and the vibrations from his chest against her own. 

After that he seems to get a little more needy for her, his kisses become sloppier, his hand kneading at her flesh a bit more desperately, as his other one wound down between them finding the button of her shorts. She takes a small amount of pleasure when he struggles with her button, knowing he’s not so smooth with everything. She giggles slightly against his lips, he doesn’t doesn’t question it. 

He manages to pop the button eventually and when he does he yanks at the fabric to pull it apart in favour of undoing the zipper. Her thoughts start buzzing as he does it, because this is happening, they are gonna have sex. Her friend, the hotheaded salt lifer who sleeps with a different girl every week and once, by his own admission, jacked off in a janitors closet at school, her good ol pal JJ, was taking off her shorts. 

‘This is probably a really bad idea right?’ She mutters against his lips, not even attempting to pull away.She knows it’s too late for these thoughts, even if she wanted to stop, which, yeah, there’s no way in hell she’s doing that, she doesn’t think her body would cooperate. She’s way to worked up to back out now. 

JJ mustn’t get that vibe because he instantly stills at her words, worried that he’s overstepped. That she changed her mind. 

‘Probably,’ he agrees, his voice soft, uneasy. 

She gives him a small kiss. Once. Twice. 

‘You wanna just do it anyway?’

He grins at her, ‘fuck yeah.’

Suddenly he’s standing up, wrapping his arms under her to keep her attached to his waist, her legs wrap around him on instinct. She’s not sure what he’s doing, she didn’t think she had to stipulate that she wanted to do this on a bed, but maybe he had other ideas. 

Kie doesn’t get the opportunity to ask before he’s turning and unceremoniously dropping her back onto the bed. She screams as she falls and then kicks out to him in retaliation after she lands, he manages to dodge her attack and only laughs in response

‘Asshole,’ she mumbles as she shimmies up the bed and lays her head against the pillows up the top.

She watches JJ kick off his boots and then undo the button and zip of his shorts, relieving some of the strain. He doesn’t pull them off, instead kneels onto the bed and moves over to her. 

JJ pauses above her legs when his hands come back to her shorts and eyes her for a second waiting for her to stop him. She doesn’t. So he hooks his fingers over the waistband and shuffles then down, she lifts her hips to help him and then he gently pulls them off her legs and throws them carelessly beside the bed. 

He sits back on his heels and studies her, suddenly Kie feels extremely exposed, in nothing but a small pair of cotton panties. JJ’s eyes flick down to between her legs, they're not exactly wide open but enough to give him a full view and it makes her squirm and wonder if he can see how wet he’s made her.

Kie tries to be subtle as she brings he knees together and draws her feet close to her to block his view, he still notices because he lets out an amused breath and smirks at her. 

‘Don’t go getting all shy on me now, Kie.’

Leaning forward JJ moves up the bed and lays on his side next to her pushed up against her, skin on skin. She can feel the heat radiate off him and his hard-on pushed up against her thigh. 

‘You good?’ He asks after a moment of silence. 

All she does in response is nod, which he takes as enough of encouragement to roll slightly so he’s half on her and capture her lips in his again. 

His arm slings over her body for his nimble fingers to find her nipple and lightly start strumming it, she hums in contentment against his lips as he does so, and tries her best to repress the disappointed whine that stirs in her when he stops. 

The cool metal of his rings skims across her skin as he blindly moves his hand down, her knees fall apart again in anticipation and she only lets the smile she can feel against her lips bother her for a second before his finger tips are ghosting over her underwear. 

He add a little pressure to his touch as he moves past her clit but it’s so brief that it brings no satisfaction. He reaches the apex of her thighs and if he couldn’t see how wet she was before he can certainly feel it now, her underwear completely soaked through with anticipation. 

She expects him to make some smart ass comment about it but his mouth stay focused on it’s task, exploring her own, and one of his fingers moves to the edge of her panties hooking them to the side and then gently pushing a single digit into her. 

Experimentally he starts pumping his finger in and out and then adds another, and while Kie appreciates him taking into account her virgin status and building up-to it she not exactly a stranger to this and well, this isn’t exactly the point of what they are doing. 

‘You know, if I wanted to get fingered I could have just gone home by myself,’ she doesn’t pull away much as she speaks. 

JJ’s fingers curl in her and she gasps. 

‘Now that’s something I’d like to see.’

He doesn’t stop as he talks and god, he clearly knows what he’s doing, but she kinda just want him to fuck her. 

‘I’m serious JJ,’ she tugs at his hair lightly to emphasise her point, ‘I told you I’ve already done this stuff.’

His thumb comes up and pushes against her clit over her underwear, she bites her lip to stop any noise that threatens to escape her - refusing to give him the satisfaction. 

‘Relax Kie, it’s all part of the experience,’ his teeth nip at her jawline, ‘surely you know the importance of foreplay. Gotta make sure you’re ready to go.’

She can’t argue with that logic really, although pretty much from the moment they’d kissed her being _ready to go_ wasn’t exactly an issue. 

‘Besides we have to ease into it. Not to brag but,’ he whispers the next words against her lips, ‘I’m kinda big.’

It’s definitely a brag, one she’s heard many times before.

Kie rolls her eyes at him but she doesn’t think it lands because he almost certainly felt her involuntarily clench around him at the thought. 

‘I know JJ,’ she keep her voice flat, slightly annoyed, hoping she can save face, ‘it’s amazing how often you can casually bring that up in conversation.’

‘Is that why you picked me?’ He asks with a grin. 

Without warning he adds a third finger, his hips roll against her side as he does and she can feel all of him against her skin. She lets out a shuttering moan as he does, the pleasure coupled with a slight sting as he stretches her out. 

She takes a few deep, steady breaths until the pain subsides and she can reveal in the way his fingers fill her up. Kie brings a hand up to his shoulder, using it as some leverage to slightly move her body up and down in sync with his hand. 

JJ watches her expectantly and it’s only then that she remembers he asked her a question, really he shouldn’t have done that right after asking if he actually wanted an answer. 

‘What?’

‘Is that why you picked me?’

There are plenty of times they could have talked about this before, there would be plenty of times to talk about it later, why in gods names is he choosing now to evaluate her selection process. 

‘I mean, you could have done this with John B or Pope. Why me?’

Of course she’d thought about all of them, and really she wasn’t 100% sure on JJ until tonight when the opportunity seemed to be there and it just seemed, right.

She’s still quite so he keeps talking, because he’s JJ and he can’t not, ‘we all know you're closest with JB, I’m sure he would have treated you right.’

It’s true, John B is her best friend, while she loved all the pouges, she had a special bond with him, being the one to bring her into the group. And while he arguably is as comfortable with casual sex as JJ, John B is a soft soul. And whenever she thought about it she always thought it would mean too much to him, he’s be too focused on her emotions and making sure she’s okay and he’s not making her uncomfortable. JJ’s already been more like that then she expected, she really she couldn’t imagine what John B would have been like. 

‘Or you know Pope,’ Kie really wishes he would shut up, their friends at the last people she wants to discuss while he’s knuckle deep, ‘he’s a virgin too.’

He lets out a soft gasp, ‘you guys could have lost it to each other. That would have been adorable.’

And there it is, exactly why she didn’t go with Pope. Not for a second did she think Pope could do sex without emotions. Especially for his first. Things would get confusing and weird and tangled in his head and it would’ve just ruined their friendship.

So she picked JJ. 

And then of course there’s that other reason.The reason that sits in the back of her mind that she refuses to even dignify by even thinking about it. 

God, she really doesn’t want to talk about this. 

Kie grips the back of his neck tighter and pulls him in so her lips move against his as she speaks. 

‘Hey JJ? This conversation? Drying me right up.’

JJ’s eyes bug out of his head, ‘oh.’

He looks down to his hand and then up to her a couple times, he seemed to have forgotten what they were in the middle of, and that he hadn’t moved his fingers in sometime. 

‘Oh. Right. Yeah.’

Giving his fingers a quick wriggle he starts moving them again, soon enough building her up once more. 

Kie gently rocks her hips against his hand, meeting his thrusts as his finger curl in her. JJ’s head is buried into the crook of her neck, giving her skin small nips and kisses between mumbling breathy _fuck_ ’s under his breath. If she could form a coherent thought she might remind him not to leave any marks, but between the tension building between her legs and the feel on him softly rutting against her thigh she can’t bring herself to care. 

She about to tug at his hair to pull him back and kiss him again when JJ is completely pulling his fingers away, rolling off her slightly and onto his side. She feels empty and cold and she could only describe the noise she makes at his absence as a whine.

‘I thought you didn’t want to be fingered baby?’ He laughs at her. 

A warm feeling runs through her when the word _baby_ rolls off his lips, his eyes shining bright, his swollen lips curling into a teasing smile.

Crossing her arms over her chest she glares at him, ‘don’t call me baby.’

She’s just trying to save face, act like she wasn’t so desperate for his touch.

His hand comes up in surrender, ‘sorry, force of habit.’

He’s still smiling at her.

‘Just get on with it.’

There is something to be said for JJ’s instance to carry on casual conversation in the middle of it all. Her nerves seem to disappear, making room for the friendly annoyance and impatience that she usually feels with JJ and thankfully she’s focussed on that instead of her shyness as she lifts her hips to shimmy her underwear off and throw them down the end of the bed.

His eyebrows shoot up at her forwardness, ‘yeah, okay.’

Carefully her rolls back onto her, fully this time, and settles in between her spread legs. JJ rest his forearm above her head, holding himself and leans down to kiss her again. His lips messily work against hers as him free hand travels down between them to blindly shuffle off his shorts and underwear. 

‘Fuck,’ he mutters and pulls away from her when they get caught halfway down his legs.

Kie can’t help but laugh as he starts kicking his legs trying to get them off. Once he’s kicked them free and off the end of the bed, he turns back to her with a cheeky smile. It’s the way his eyes shine as he looks at her, or maybe the way his lips tug up flashing his teeth, that makes her grip his chin between her fingers and push up to place a soft, slow kiss against his lips. 

His lips push together and tug to the side when she flops back down to the pillows, almost like he’s trying to repress a bigger smile, and he stares at her for a long moment before dropping his gaze. 

Shifting his weight JJ reaches off to the side to grab the condom off the bedside table, as he moves his member pushes into her thigh and Kie’s curiosity spikes. _Well, he wasn’t exaggerating_ , she thinks when she looks down, she pulls her lip her teeth at the thought of taking it all. 

JJ notices her looking when he comes back and throws her a wink as he brings to foil packet up to his mouth, using his teeth to rip it open. Kie decidedly doesn’t look as he rolls it on, instead focus on the top of his head as he looks down, seeming to have learnt from the pants problem that he can’t just do it blindly. 

She feels his tip line up with her entrance and her legs fall further open, welcoming him. He pauses and looks back up to her. 

‘You sure about this?’

‘Seriously?’ she brings one of her legs up to wrap around his waist and pull him in a little. 

‘Yeah, seriously. You’re the one who’s always going on about the importance of consent.’

‘I think I’ve well and truly done that, don’t you?’

‘I’m just making sure you haven’t changed your mind.’

Her hands come up and rub over his shoulders, ‘are you forgetting that I literally asked you to do this?’

‘I know, I know. I just want to-‘ 

‘JJ.’ She cuts him off, ‘are you sure you still want to do this?’

He keeps questioning her, stopping before continuing, and while she appreciates him checking in with her, it’s making her worried. That maybe he’s having second thoughts, that it’s too much for him and he doesn’t actually want to do this. 

His brows pull together but he doesn’t respond so she continues. 

‘You just seem... hesitant.'

Kie winds one of her hands behind his head and plays with his hair in an attempt to seem comforting. 

His gaze drops, ‘I just. I just don’t want you to regret this.’

‘I’m not going to regret this.’

‘Look, I know that you think that it doesn’t really matter and that it’s just a social construct or whatever. And you think you just want to do this to avoid awkwardness.’

He’s still not looking at her, and Kie wishes he would. 

‘But it is still a big thing. And I don’t want you wishing you didn’t do it with me. You know, I know I’m not some stand up guy. I’ve got a shit reputation and a bad family name and-‘

‘Hey!’ She cuts him off, ‘that’s my best friend you’re talking about.’

He finally look at her again and he’s biting the side of his lip nervously. Kie buries her hand further into his hair trying to ground him to her. 

‘You are one of the best people I know. And I am sure about this. And I’m sure about doing it with you. Not for a second will I regret this because I trust you, and care about you and that’s all I could ask for, okay? We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, but I am sure.’

He process’s her words, nodding slowly, then cracks a smile.

‘Jeez Kie, you normally this much of a sap in bed?’

He really can’t be serious for any extended amount of time can he? She wants to roll her eyes, but instead keeps them fixed on him, not letting him just brush it off with a joke. 

He pauses, then sighs, and then leans down giving her a peck on the lips. 

‘Thanks.’

The moment lingers between them JJ brushes his lips over hers, nipping at them lightly, slowly building the mood again. Giving the emotional tension a moment to dissipate before they find their rhythm again.

It doesn’t take long, the kisses turn heated and messy and JJ’s hand wanders down between them playing with her clit lightly. 

‘You ready?’ He mumbles against her lips, and Kie nods breathlessly. 

His hand moves from her to gently guide himself, she winces slightly as his tip enters her, the stretch pinching slightly. 

He pauses, ‘You okay?’ 

‘Yeah,’ she reassures his worried expression. 

‘Just let me know if-‘

‘Yeah,’ she repeats, not letting him finish.

If there’s one thing she knows for sure it’s that he would stop the second she asked him to. 

Which really, should be a given for men everywhere and not some amazing trait that he should be held on a pedestal for, but nevertheless she grateful to know it. 

She buries her face into the crook of his neck and he keeps going, slowly inching forward, taking his time to let her adjust. 

He’s not fully in when he starts pulling back again, just as slow as he went in. She lets out deep steadying breathes against his skin, as he rocks into her, keeps his thrusts slow and shallow. The pains slowly starts to subside as she stretches for him. 

She can feel him when the sting goes, feel him properly, and the pleasure starts to build in her. The way he fills her up, dragging along her walls. Her head falls back against the pillow, her eyes clamp tight shut and a moan escapes from her throat. 

‘Good?’ JJ asks, leaning in close, his lips brushing against her skin. 

She hums in response and moves to find his lips. JJ slowly picks up his pace, getting slightly deeper with each thrust. Kie can’t help but let out small whimpers against his lips. 

_Jesus fucking Christ does it always feel this good?_

Without even thinking about Kie starts rocking her hip slightly, meeting his movements, JJ pulls away from her lips to mutter a quiet _fuck_ against them and then moves to explore the expanse of her neck once more. 

Their bodies move together so well, and it feels so right. Kind of like _why the hell haven’t we been doing this the whole time_. She really doesn’t want to think about what that means, just throws her head back and squeezes her eyes tight shut blocking out that part of her brain that wonders what he’s thinking. She’s knows he’s had a lot of sex, this probably doesn’t even compare. 

JJ’s hand blindly finds her thigh, he pushes back in it a little moving it further up his back and giving him a whole new angle to work with. 

‘You feel so fucking good Kiara,’ he mumbles into her neck and it sends a shot of electricity through her. 

He keeps a steady rhythm, letting her pleasure slowly build until without much warning his hips snap forward in quick, hard thrusts, like he can control himself, can’t hold back anymore. 

After only a couple seconds he shutters ‘shit,’ and he slows again to an almost stop. He lifts his head from her neck to look at her and breathes against her her lips, ‘you wanna get on top?’

Kie stills, ‘I don’t - I don’t really know what to do.’

Okay, she’s not completely oblivious. She _technically_ knows what to do in concept, but what about positioning and angles, and what if what she does doesn’t feel good?

This is one of the things that scared her about sleeping with a stranger, her inexperience meaning she couldn’t confidently do the thing she wanted to, and she doesn’t want to embarrass her self by awkwardly trying to figure it out. 

‘Well this is the perfect time to learn isn’t it?,’ he places a few kisses along her jaw line, ‘I’m sure you’ll be a natural.’

She bites her lip thinking it over and when she doesn’t respond JJ lifts himself up on his forearms and looks at her properly. 

‘Only if you want to.’

The softness of his voice reminds her why it’s him she’s doing this with. He doesn’t want to pressure him and lets her call the shots. 

She brings her arms up to wrap around his neck and nods. 

‘Yeah. Yeah, okay’

JJ smiles down at her and moves his hands underneath her, pushing between her skin and the mattress one spreading out between her shoulders blades, the other on her ass. 

He roles them over, his hand on her butt keeping her steady so he doesn’t slip out of her with the move. It’s a practiced move, something he’s clearly perfected from experience and she’s actually impressed by his smooth movements. 

They lay chest to chest and the nerves return. 

‘So... like this? Or should I - sit up?’

Running his hands along her JJ moves them to her hips, the roughness of his callouses catching against her soft skin as he goes. It feels nice. 

‘Either way, whatever you want.’

It’s good that he’s trying to be supportive, let her do what she feels comfortable with, but god she could really use some direction now. 

She decides to sit up, her hands move to his chest to give herself some leverage and she bites her lip watching him watch her. 

When she’s upright JJ lets out a low whistle and says, ‘now damn, that’s a view.’

Normally she’d hit him or roll her eyes at his comment but instead she tilts her head up with a prideful smile and sticks her chest out a bit. There’s something about JJ’s praise and compliments that make her feel confident and sexy, especially in this moment where she’s never felt so unsure of herself. 

They both fall into laughter at her action but as they do JJ also tightens his grip on her hips and pushes up into her slightly. She clenches around him and it reminds her what they are actually doing. 

Kie’s thought start swirling as she tries to think about how she’s going to do this, she tries to think back to the porn she’s watched. With those girls it’s all seemed so easy and natural but Kie’s getting bogged down in the logistics. 

Seemly reading her mind and understanding her hesitation JJ speaks up. 

‘Just try things out. See what feels good. I promise you won’t break it off.’

_He’s really got to stop being so helpful._

‘You say that now. But I know if I did I would never hear the end of it,’ she jokes because it helps her relax. 

‘If you break my dick off?’ He chuckles, ‘yeah, Kie, I think I might bring that up a couple times.’

She choses not to respond instead focusing back to the task at hand, or at... okay you get the joke. She’s not gonna say it. 

Kie circles her hips in his lap to get comfortable, get the feel of him inside her again, the lay of the land if you will. The movement entices a growl in JJ’s throat and he seems to enjoy it, she makes a note of it for later. 

Experimentally she starts rolling her hips, back and then forth. The motion seems to work, and it’s feels good so she keeps doing it. JJ offers her a smile and then his lips part, steady but audible breaths fall from his lips and she takes that as a good sign. So far so good. 

Gaining confidence Kie changes it up again, tensing her thighs and pushing down a little harder of his chest to help her rise and then sink down again, sliding up and down his length as she does. 

JJ’s grip on her hips tightens a little, as he looks at her with hooded eyes a a smirk on his face, ‘that’s a girl.’

His praise spurs her on and she starts to become of sure in her movements, more deliberate. She starts rolling her hips again as she moves up and down, and it feels fucking amazing. The sensation of him dragging along her walls as he moves in and out driving her wild.

‘Fuck,’ JJ moans from below her, his eyes squeeze shut and he leans his head back, ‘I knew you’d be good at this.’

‘Been thinking about it have you?’ She teases, not stopping as she speaks.

His eyes flutter open to look at her, ‘I’ve seen you dance Kie, it’s hard not to.’

His words sound completely serious and she should probably feel weird at the thought of him watching her like that but instead something burns in her stomach just thinking about it. 

Forgoing a response Kie circles her hips on him, enticing a small groan and thrust out of JJ. One of his hands finds it’s way up to her nipple as she settles back into a rhythm, making her squirm under his touch as he plays with it, taking advantage of it’s sensitivity. His other hand remains on her hips, gripping her skin tight and helping guide her movements. 

Kie watches his eyes slowly rake over her body, taking his time to assess every inch of her. His pupils are completely blown with desire and he bites down on his lips, not being able to stop the moan that escapes beyond them regardless. 

His lips look bright red and swollen next to the clean white of his teeth, so damn kissable that Kie can’t resist. She leans leans down again laying her chest flat against his and hovers over his closely, her arms framing either side of his head. 

JJ wraps his arms around her middle gently and pulls her in tight, ‘hey,’ his smile is warm. 

‘Hey,’ she responds in kind, brushes her nose against his a couple times before finding his lips once more for a slow, soft kiss.

He bends his legs up, giving her something to push back into and helping him gain leverage to meet her movements. Her lips don’t leave his as she rocks against him, a knot starting to form inside her and her limbs starting to shake. 

Kie starts moving more franticly as she get more desperate for her high, building tightly inside her. Her mouth leaves JJ’s to let out some short moans with each thrust. She can feel her self about to give in when JJ’s stilling her movements, pulling her tight and rolling them over again. 

‘Don’t cum yet,’ he tells her with a teasing smile and she could kill the cocky bastard as her body starts to un-tense. 

That is until a second later when he braces his arms above her head, pushes his lips to hers hard and starts pounding into her with slow thrusts, deep and hard. 

It’s doesn’t take long for the pressure to build up again, she feels each one of her muscles start to tense and she’s shaking. His mouth is this slotted over hers but their lips stay unmoving instead their heavy breaths, whispered curses and strangled moans blend together between them. 

Kie threads her fingers into JJ’s hair and pulls hard when she finally cums with a low scream, her whole body shuttering, a wave of bliss rolling over her. JJ twitches against her moments later, mumbling _fuck_ , under his breath sounding completely spent. Kie would be lying if she said she didn’t love they way it sounded. 

JJ leaves a couple more slow, messy kisses against her lips as they catch their breath, accompanied with a few more gentle thrusts as she twitches around him, coming down from her high.

He pulls away soon after, rolling off to lay on the mattress next to her. Sitting up Kie grabs a pillow and holds it to her body, suddenly feeling weird being naked in front of JJ. For the same reason she _does not_ look as he takes off the condom, but curiosity get’s the best of her when he turns his body from her to lean over the edge of the bed.

She hadn’t got a look from the angle yet, sue her.

Practically hanging off the bed JJ reaches for a plastic bag that’s laying on the floor and drags it over to dump the used condom in it. Really Kie’s impressed that he has anything that vaguely resembles a rubbish bin in his room, then it occurs to her this is probably something he does regularly. She ignores the feeling that rushes through her at that thought. 

He turns and back her gaze snaps away the second after she cops an eye full, he must have noticed because she hears him huff out a laugh. Kie’s eyebrows knit together at what she met with when her focus shifts.

‘Have you been wearing your socks this whole time?’

JJ’s toes wiggle under the black fabric and he’s grinning at her when she looks back to him.

‘Can’t have my feet getting cold.’

‘You look ridiculous.’

He does, but it’s also kinda cute. Not that she would ever tell him that.

Propping himself up on his arm and bending one leg up JJ all but presents himself to her with a smirk.

‘Do I?’

She reaches up to the headboard and grabs another pillow, throwing it at his crotch getting him to cover up, JJ has never been one for modesty. He brings a hand to hold the pillow in place with a laugh.

‘No one want’s to see that.’

‘Oh Kiara, I think we are well past the point of you acting like that’s true,’ He smirks at her and she hates that he’s right.

‘Please. This was for purely educational purposes.’

‘Oh so that was a purely educational orgasm?’ He squints at her, an eyebrow raising playfully. 

‘It was just a natural bodily reaction,’ she’s not going to let him have this, his ego’s already inflated enough. 

‘A natural bodily reaction to good sex,’ he says it like he’s so sure of himself, like he knows just how much of an effect he had on her, how caught up she got in it. 

She can’t fight the wave of insecurity that washes over her, like she’s only just now realising what different playing fields they are on. That for her it was like nothing she’d ever experienced before and for him it was probably nothing special, nothing compared to what he’s done before, just something to fill in the time and he’ll forget about soon enough. 

Her head drops to watch her hands play with the edge of the pillowcase in her lap and her voice is barely about a whisper, ‘You don’t have to be an ass about it’

‘Wait. Hey - no,’ her eyes flicker to his hand that’s reached out to touch knee and then up to him, ‘I meant it was good for me too. Like, you did good. It was supposed to be a compliment.’

‘Really?’ She doesn’t mean to sound so childlike when she says it, it just comes out that way, hopeful. 

‘I mean - there’s definitely room for improvement,’ the words should feel condescending, but it’s JJ and the twinkle in his eyes lets her know that he’s joking, trying to lighten the mood and make her feel better. He’s always good at that. 

She kicks out at him regardless and he laughs as he dodges the attack. 

‘But I can guarantee,’ he continues, ‘that next guy you choose to honour with your company is a lucky man.’

‘Thanks,’ she dips her head trying to hide her blush. 

‘Although I cant say the same for you.’

Her head spans up to look at him with creases brows, what exactly is that supposed to mean?

‘What?’

‘I mean really if anything I did you a disservice,’ he’s got a cocky smirk on his lips and she knows this is going to play out in his favour.

‘Is that right?’ She pushes her lips together and squint suspiciously at him.

‘Yeah, I set the bar to high, now your expectations are unreasonable. I’ve basically ruined other guys for you. There’s a reasons first times are supposed to be shit,’ he shrugs like its obvious. Like he’s just stating a fact and not showering himself with unabashed praise for his efforts. 

The things is, she’s not entirely sure he’s wrong. But she’s not sure if that’s because he’s just that good or if it’s because it’s _him._

’Was your first time shit?’ She changes the subject, not wanting to think about that for too long.

Then something occurs to her.

‘Wait - I’ve never heard this story. How have I never heard this story?’

‘Because I don’t go around telling you my sex stories Kie.’

‘Umm, yes you do. Like all the time.’

‘Well let’s just say that’s me holding back.’

He smirks at her and she blushes. She can’t help it if her mind wanders to all the things he gets up to, that he’s capable of, that she hasn’t even heard of before. Part of her wants him to tell her about it. The other part wants him to show her. 

There’s also that tiny part, right in the bottom of her gut, that feels sick thinking about the girls he’s already done those things to. 

‘Stop deflecting. How was it?’

He sighs, and his eyes wander around the room, looking anywhere but her, ‘it could’ve been better…’

She raises her eyebrow at him. 

‘Yeah. Okay, fine. It was shit,’ he confesses, ‘like really bad.’

‘What happened?’

She can’t contain her smile, on the edge of her seat wanting to hear the story of the great JJ Maybank being shit in bed.

‘No way I’m telling you that story’

‘Why not? You know my first time story. Fairs fair.’

‘Not really. There’s was nothing embarrassing about your first time.’

‘Not for you maybe,’ she shoots him a cheeky grin, letting him know she paying him out.

‘Ah, excuse me Carrera. You practically begged to get me in the sack.’

She scoffs and reaches out to slap his leg lightly, ’I did not beg!’

He grabs her hand off his leg before she pulls it away and he eyes her with a playful raise of his eyebrow.

‘You sure about that?’

His fingers play with hers for a bit before they lace together, sitting in the air between them, she’s not even sure he’s consciously doing it, his eyes trained on her, seemingly completely wrapped up in teasing her. Kie can’t think of anything else, her breath hitches and she looks at their hands from the corner of her eye, it’s feels so intimate, the most intimate thing they’ve done all night in the simple, casual normalcy of it all.

She lets the touch linger for a couple more seconds before she’s letting her hand fall from his, hoping it’s not to obvious how much she cannot deal with that right now. She lets her mind focus on the conversation again and doesn’t give her mind a second to assess any sort of reaction JJ may have to her pulling away.

‘JJ, please.’

‘There you go begging again,’ he says without skipping a beat, like nothing had happened. Maybe it hadn’t, maybe she’s just over thinking everything.

She pouts at him and puts on her best puppy dog eyes, she knows it’s probably more cringey than cute but it’s all she’s got. 

‘Fine,’ he sighs after a beat, ‘but you can’t tell Pope and John B.’

‘Oh, well then what’s the point?’

He raises his brows in challenge and she relents.

‘Okay, fine. Just tell me.’

Letting out a long breath he shifts a bit to get comfortable before starting, ‘so I was thirteen-‘

‘Thirteen?’ She exclaims already cutting him off, ‘you were a child JJ.’

She can’t even imagine having of had sex at thirteen, she was only had her first kiss at thirteen and even that felt overwhelming.

He chooses to ignore her and continues, ‘it was a party at the boneyard, one of the first I went to, and there was this girl, a Touron. Very hot, very forward. Practically dragged me into the shadows of the trees.’

Her eyes bug a little, is his about to tell her he lost his virginity outside, within walking distance of a crowd of people. She wants interrupt again but she holds back. 

‘And so. Like I’d only really started drinking at thirteen so I was still a massive lightweight, right. And well, we’re getting into it and I have a little trouble,’ he keeps stopping and starting trying to find the right words, explain himself, she thinks his flustered nervousness is pretty cute, ‘Look I’m drunk okay and nervous as all hell. And so I have some trouble properly... getting it up.’

Kie sucks her bottom lip into her mouth trying to repress her laugh, her body shudders slightly and her lips pull to the side. 

‘And I wasn’t about to admit defeat - I was so close to the promise land - so I just go for it anyway. And look, it doesn’t work all that well when your not fully hard right so... it’s just more like mushing together...’

JJ sighs and runs his hand though his hair. 

‘And anyway... she eventually gets bored and leaves. And I didn’t even try it again until like a year later.’

‘Aww’ Kie says in sympathy, the sentiment ruined slightly as a laugh bubbles out of her mouth. 

‘Shut up,’ he shakes his head but he’s smiling wide. 

Not being able to hold it in any longer Kie erupts into a fit of laughter, which JJ eventually joins in on, clearly not too scared from the whole ordeal. 

‘Okay, okay,’ Kie says, trying to catch her breath, ‘there’s no way I’m not telling the guys that story.’

‘No, hey. You promised.’

‘I’m sorry, J, but it’s just too good,’

‘Fine. You tell ‘em that and I’ll tell ‘em what your o face looks like.’

Kie’s mouth falls open in shock, ‘that’s not fair-‘

‘All’s fair in love and war baby,’ he throws her a wink.

‘You wouldn’t...’ she’s tempted to call his bluff. 

‘Try me.’

She narrows her eyes at him, trying to get him to back down. She eventually relents with a sigh, it’s not like she was actually going to tell them anyway. 

‘Fine,’ She leans over and holds out her pinkie to him, ‘just between us.’

He eyes her finger and quirks a brow, ‘seriously?’

‘Yes, seriously.’

She waggles the small finger at him until he reaches up and locks his with it, sealing their deal. Their fingers stay intertwined for longer than Kie would consider necessary and JJ looks at her with something akin to adoration on his face and she really doesn’t know what to make of that. 

She drops his hand and looks down at her lap, trying calm the red in her cheeks and the fluttering in her chest. When she looks back up he’s still watching he intently and she squirms under his gaze, she really doesn’t know what to make of this new tension between them. 

Her watches her for a moment longer, then shuffles toward her, sitting up slightly. His hand reaches out and Kie’s breath shutters as his skin touches hers, placing his thumb on her jaw.

His gaze burns almost as much as her skin does under his touch, Kie swallows thickly as she stares back at him, eye flicking back and forth between his trying to figure out what he was doing, what he was thinking.

‘Sorry about that,’ he says with a grin.

Knitting her brows together as she takes a second to interpret his meaning. It dawns on her and whatever tension she was feeling instantly dissolves as she gasps and whacks his hand away.

‘JJ, you didn’t!’

She runs her fingers along the spot he was just touching, as if she could feel the mark he apparently left. JJ just falls back into the mattress and laughs.

‘It’s not funny,’ she scowls at his laughter, ‘it’s the one thing I said not to do.’

‘Relax Kie, no one’s even going to notice.’

‘Not the point,’ she rolls her eyes and shuffles off the bed, keeping the pillow pulled tight to her chest.

She plucks her underwear off the end of the bed and looks to JJ who is watching her intently.

‘Can you like, look away,’ the way he watches her makes her squirm, makes her think if she was naked in front of him again he might not be able to control himself.

Or maybe she was projecting. 

‘I hate to break it to you Kie, but I’ve already seen you naked.’

She wants to wipe the stupid smirk off his face, or kiss it off maybe. God, she’s fucked up hasn’t she?

‘Yeah, but that was different,’ she hugs the pillow closer, wrapping her arms around herself, ‘just because you’ve seen me naked doesn’t mean you have a free pass to whenever now.’

‘Well damn, why did I even do this then?’

After fixing a hard look on him JJ give in a lays down on his back looking up at the roof, arms coming up to rest his hands under his head.

Kie dumps the pillow down beside him and then turns around, just to be safe, as she pulls on her underwear and finds the rest of her clothes putting them back on as well.

When she turns back around, pulling her hair out from under her shirt, she sees JJ still facing the roof but his eyes shifted in her direction. She purses her lips and crosses her arms, too which he responds with a innocent smile full of teeth.

She shakes her head and walks over to pick up her shoes. She has to leave, if she doesn’t now she won’t, she knows it. Not when he’s giving her cute smiles and heated looks. She’ll stay and that’s just not an option because it’ll mean she’s giving into something that this defiantly was not about. 

‘You don’t have to go,’ he’s turned to her fully now, and he almost looks nervous, ‘you can stay.’

Does he realise how tempting that offer is?

‘Yeah, I was just gonna- head to the pull out,’ she points over her shoulder with her thumb and avoids his eyes, ‘before John B and Pope get back, ya know.’

He doesn’t say anything straight away, just stares for a beat before slowly nodding.

‘Oh right, yeah. Good idea.’

She brings two fingers up to her forehead and salutes, partly because she’s lame, partly because she really doesn’t know what else to do. He chuckles lightly and returns the gesture.

His hair is ruffled from her hands, sticking out in all directions, his lips slightly swollen and red, and he’s just laying there, in nothing but a thick pair of black socks and a ratty old pillow covering his junk. He looks adorable, and ridiculously hot all at once and she wishes to god that she didn’t think that.

Against her better judgment she kneels on the bed with one knee and leans over to him, propping herself up with one arm and kisses him. It’s supposed to be quick, simple but he parts his lips when she comes down and she can’t help but linger as her bottom lips gets caught between his.

She hesitantly pulls away after a beat only to chase his lips for a quick, final kiss. Once. Twice. She pulls away properly then, not far but far enough to stifle her temptation. 

‘Thank you, JJ.’

She expects him to smirk at her and say _anytime_ or _my pleasure_ or some other smart ass comment but he just looks at her, some unreadable expression on his face. He swallows hard and she lets out a steadying breath before pulling way properly, throwing him a tight lipped smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes and then all but flees the room.

When she gets out to the lounge she throws her shoes down on the floor and flops face down onto the pullout bed. She’s tempted to scream into the pillow, but knowing despite it being muffled JJ would still hear it she settles for a long groan.

This was supposed to be simple, easy. Have sex for the first time with her friend, someone she trusted, and was comfortable with. She’d thought it over for months and was certain it was, if not a good one, at least a reasonable idea.

It was like JJ’s touch had drawn any non-platonic feelings she might have had bubbling below the surface, and now she most defiantly cannot ignore them.

She eventually falls asleep, repressing the urge to head back to JJ’s room and ask for round 2, and the even stronger urge to fall asleep wrapped up in his arms.

In the morning Pope asks offhandedly where they disappeared to, JJ’s eyes flit over to her for a second before looking back at Pope.

‘Well I don’t know about Kie,’ he cracks a smile, ‘but I was at your place, showing your mum a good time.’

It’s classic JJ, deflect a question with a joke, and while it usually annoys her she’s extremely grateful for that skill right now. Pope lunges at him and JJ twists him around into a playful headlock.

‘She wants me man, don’t deny it.’

Kie laughs along with John B at their idiot friends. They break away and JJ brushes past her to get to the fridge, as he does he brings his thumb up to quickly swipe at the small mark on her jaw, throwing her a quick raise of his eyebrows and a small smirk. 

It’s subtle enough that the other boys don’t notice, but it leaves her stomach doing flips and her wanting to shove her head through the wall just to feel something that is not that.

She takes a deep breath to compose herself and then laughs.

‘Pope’s mum is way out of your league, JJ, we all know it.’

Just like that, things are back to normal. Like how they were. Except they’re really not. 

**Author's Note:**

> JJ is the type to keep his socks on during sex and you CANNOT change my mind.  
> Comment if you liked, never mention this again if you didn't  
> hmu on my socials  
> [Instagram ](https://www.instagram.com/shielclmaiden/)(shielclmaiden)  
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